beginning of story

i am not a ‘be here now, live in the moment’ kinda girl.
i do try my very best, but truth-out, it’s a tough one for me.

i know. 
i know.

i’m more of a ‘how about i go way back to the past – like way, way back – and then work my way to my teen years, which were filled with so much pain & angst, and try to figure out & re-assemble all the crap/baggage i carry around’ kinda girl.

but today, this day, i’m gonna try to be completely present, completely in the moment. completely here. now. this moment. i’m not gonna fret over the past & i’m not gonna worry about the future. (i know, good luck with that, right?) i’m gonna live today as if today were the only day i had. i’m gonna write, take a walk (a short walk, like to the mailbox), i’m going to send out a bulk email to all the folks i love and tell them i love them, i’m going to kiss my husband, like, a million times, i’m going to take a bath (well, maybe a shower), i’m going to donate some clothes that no longer fit me – actually, let me rephrase that – i gonna clean out my closet & some drawers because they are cluttered with clothes that couldn’t fit my thigh (and yes, donate). i’m going to say no to a few things that i’m on the fence about, yes to the two things i really want to contribute to, i’m going to dance (for a few minutes) in my living room while i listen to the pointer sisters, i’m going to smooch with my kitties & hope they don’t have mites, and i’m going to try my very best to reel myself in every time i veer off course, and end up in the past schlepping around a bunch of crap that no longer fits me, or feels good, or brings me joy, and keeps me from loving my own life full on.

beginning of story.

— Amy Ferris


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